beautiful awakening

I just woke up. Too much allowance is never a good thing.

Unless it is to be bombed on some fabulous Louboutins or a scrumptious handbag du jour or a bluesky holiday with some great friends.

Sometimes people try so hard to be understanding it feels like they're pushing you away. Other times assumptions are made and they leave you bewildered. More often than not they really don’t understand and you end up speechless.

Every snake has a best friend who thinks the world of it and nothing special of you.

And I care because?

revised flashes

I have made excellent progress!! The physician was impressed and so was I :) Still on meds but reduced dosage.

Turns out I might not go to Singapore.. No accomodation. It's December, Christmas sale, school hols, etc etc. Whatever.

thoughts in flashes

Last posting 23 November 2006??

This is going to be a short scattered one. Sorry jumpingonDbandwagon (I'm going to call you JODB from now on ok? That is a mouthful..). Panjang wan nanti k. Whenever that will be.

Hello December! I love December. The Christmas to New Year stretch is one of my favourite times of the year. It just makes me feel all warm, happy and smiley. The sale is on during this time should the urge to shop arises. And the Bench is on a 2-week vacation. Bliss..

Anyway.

• My past week was dominated by work, catching up on sleep, Grey's Anatomy Second Season marathon, and more work. It was exhausting.

• This recent weekend allowed me to breathe.. Ommm...... Ommmmmmmm............. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm................................

• Havaianas slots have been filled. G bought me the lemur monkey IPE (which I love) and that brings the counts to 21. Dammit.. There are still some I want (it's greed really). But the new ones are simply too cute. Really.

• I might go down to Singapore soon and check out whether they have the new Havaianas stocked up *grins*

• I lacked balls to go to my appointment this morning. I drove there but got scared so I rescheduled it to this afternoon. Hopefully I do go.

• Hey my physician is a bit insane ok, so I have considerably good grounds to be chicken.

• My phone decided to go crazy on me. Again. After they made me wait much longer than the estimated 3-day policy service time and in the end they just changed the motherboard. That was less than 3 months ago. And the phone is less than a year old. I'm so not impressed.

• Am in love with my new cap. And am also binge-ing on Starbucks' Hazelnut Hot Chocolate in my cut-down-caffeine campaign.. It really is that good...

• Last Thursday, Philippines was hit by Typhoon Durian with gusts up to 165 mph. It destabilised the walls of Mayon (Philippines' most active volcano) and triggered volcanic mudslides killing almost 1000 people. Arroyo declared it a national state of calamity and it is currently headed towards Vietnam. Scary kan?

• I hope Choonism has found ACTUAL use for the freebies that came with his brand spanking new laptop.. Hehehehehheeee..

• Ok I'm NOW mentally prepared for bad news and to get blasted by the physician.

so tired

I wish I was not put into a Shit!-I-need-you-to-drop-everything-and-complete-this-urgent-thing-now!!! situation every 2 bloody days. I mean, who is getting hanged here? Deadlines are deadlines but when you yourself know it is impossible to be met, why set it at that and stress everybody out in the process?

But orders are orders.

I find that I am now less than eager to deal with skyrocketing stress levels. Less caffeine and less ciggies aren’t making it any easier. Less food option too.

I’m on the brink of throwing in the towel and migrating nearby and working in Kuta Beach’s McDonald’s. Relatively very much stress-free, the sun, the sand, the beach, the eyecandy, the simplicity...

“Would you like fries with that?”

shout out

AHP is still at the hospital.

Get well soon dear. You will be your beaming sunshiny self in no time, rest assured :)

hotchpotch

I went to watch Casino Royale last night. I’m sorry, but I just do not find him hot no matter how hard I try. He has pretty blue eyes, but other than that.. nothing.

MBF mentioned about that bit when he came out of the water and she was certain that I would love that shot of Daniel Craig considering I gag over pelvic bone but hmm.. What pelvic bone.. where.. who.. how.. whatt?! I was very disappointed when I saw that shot. Boo...

Overall I enjoyed the movie despite the-less-than-hot-new-Bond. He was painted to be more modern, edgy and relatively less superhuman. Moving with the times I guess. I mean, I liked the acting, I thought he was a really good and different Bond, but I just don’t find him hot… Pelvic bone or otherwise.

Come to think of it, I can't seem to recall whether I have ever found a Bond to be hot. Anyway.

Waiting for my dinner I was asked why I had my hair side parted. My reply was variety. The truth is my threading lady botched an eyebrow (beyatch!) and I really can’t be arsed to use makeup to even them out. So I just push that excuse of a fringe of mine over to one side and let the good eyebrow show. It’s going to be a bit annoying to have hair in my eye for the next few days…

Mental note: EVERYBODY has their off days. Even your regular threading lady. So beware...

At dinner I heard about Mel B the ex-Spice Girls is preggers and is getting hitched to Eddie Murphy... Whattt? It’s the sort of gossip that make you force yourself to blink and deliberately breathe and exhale hard for it’s just so very shocking. It was equally shocking that she is G’s favourite Spice Girl.. hahaha..

Oooh... it's actually quite fun blogging without a direction like this...

Ok ok I've to go. Goodbye blog.

1-1

We drew at the Emirates stadium. Considering we were then the bottom 3 and them the top 5, at home; enough said :)

We're still in trouble though being on the wrong side of the table... But let's just enjoy this morale victory and more...

zero logic = pleasure/pain

Dictated by the ‘sancts’ of irrationality, logic was tossed out the door.

I treated myself to a deluded self-indulgence session by entertaining what-ifs. Which function was to solely provoke fears and insecurities within. It worked. I felt so overwhelmed in terror that I miserably failed to pacify myself.

Smart. Now what…

It isn’t easy to tell people what they do not want to hear. I make a point to thoroughly think of the possibilities to break news as painless as can be to the people I care about. Do not do to others what you don’t want others to do to you. Or however way that saying goes.. ANYWAY, that’s what I consciously try to do lah. It absolutely pains me when I go to great lengths for the most suitable solution (in my eyes, that is) but it is severely misunderstood, blown out of proportion and things get unilaterally changed. I try to be sensitive to others’ feelings and it is less than pleasant when it is not vice versa.

I guess we’re only human and life is peppered with mistakes and misunderstandings. The priority is to get things sorted out.

Moving on, today I woke up to a phonecall that made me feel a lot better than when I went to bed. I don’t like going to bed feeling like shit. I hate it with a passion. But since it was made worst by my own doing, I didn’t really want to stew in it too long. It is tiring.

Einstein here also managed to cut her lower lip with her braces. Somehow. Never before. That was the virgin cut in all of 16 months. Speaking of which, about a week back I got my first mini ulcer from wearing braces. Some ickle bone was slightly poking out of my gum and constantly grazed the inner bit of my upper lip. Me being me, I was horrified when I initially discovered it. Yeah, but it went away quietly in a non-dramaesque way in about 2 days. I cant wait for them to be off *sighs* Besides, the fact that I can have the orthodontist change different coloured bands to stick my wire to my brackets every month no longer excites me. I keep going back to pink, lilac or baby blue. Predictable... How far away is July again? I hear the pain of the wait apparently is nothing compared to the pleasure this little vainpot’s evenly lined teeth. We shall see.

I REALLY should update my schedule in my phone…

I REAAALLY should not cheat with my ciggie count. It’s unbecoming of someone who ‘wishes’ to quit eh? I guess there is a fine line between someone who ‘wishes’ to quit and someone who is ‘strongly advised’ to quit...

I think this is the most incoherent post I have ever put up.

U awright?

I am perpetually hungry nowadays it's not funny. Damn nicorettes... Grr...

day three

So far, so good. I’ve informed the significant people so they wouldn’t be clueless if tragedy strikes.

I need a break…

me love you long time

“Grey goose got your girl feeling loose..”

My ever so fabulous friend hollaback­ boi had a belated birthday drink thing last Saturday over in this gorgeous open air pavillion perched on a brand-spanking-new hotel's roof. Magnificent views, calm cool breeze, beautiful night, gorgeous people. The service was nothing to shout about though.

Definitely not due to the grey goose and cranberry for me, I was feeling great. The issues-laden few were disregarded. After all, it was a moment of merriment and if I really did want to feel wretched with all that has been going on, I would have quite simply stayed in. Maybe the wonderful people in PR do have some mutual common formulae that make them such a lovely warm bunch with an insane sense of humour.

He was drawn to Marcus. All that was needed was a mini striptease and a few flashes of his tattoos, coupled with some highly intelligent conversation around each one’s favoured chicken cuts, chicken drama, fatty crab and Jalan Alor chicken wings. That was all it took. I think he was love-struck :)

THAT was a brilliant night.

Thanks darlings. Me love you long time.

time bomb

time bomb
1. a bomb constructed so as to explode at a certain time.
2. a situation, condition, etc., resembling such a bomb in having disastrous consequences in the future.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1).

Yesterday was mentally exhausting. This, actually, is an understatement.

After severe procrastination, a flash of bravery and further feet dragging, I gave myself a kick in the butt and finally mustered enough courage.

To be honest I did somewhat prepare myself for not-so-great-news, despite secretly hoping that all will be well. I was not that lucky.

He gave me the bad news in its raw form. I made it known to him that he was instilling mammoth-like fear in me to which he flatly said he is only stating a fact. “With your family history…” He continued his factual findings for the next 30 minutes which left me feeling as if I was literally hanging by a thread.

Perhaps consultants need to be sent for some sort of PR refresher course. Lesson 1: How to break unpleasant news to one who is obviously terrified.

He then wrote some notes.

High risk for CAD.

Time bomb.

Underline.
Underline.
Circle.

Righttt.

I so didn’t need to see that whole act of writing, underlining and circling.

As if that was not enough to handle in one day, I discovered some other unpleasant news in the late afternoon. Well. One has a right to its own opinions, however distorted they are.

It seems that to a few individuals, I’m a time bomb. In more ways than one.

*tick tick tick tick tick...*

post-Raya posting

The festive period came and went. I am still in transition. Not working for long periods of time make me all woozy and blonde. Posting a song’s lyrics would solve the new-posting-less state of my blog, but I don’t want to do that too much. So I’ll list things down instead (I'm probably doing that a lot now too.. kan?)

Why I miss England (in no particular order)

1. Jaffa cakes.
2. Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding Sunday lunches at the pub.
3. Strangers calling you love, darling, duck, dear and not sounding sleazy in the process.
4. I haven’t been practising my skill at controlling disgust at the sight of mushy peas.
5. Losing track of days (Hey, I was an undergrad.. it is well within the range of skills required from an undergrad)
6. Walkers cheese & onion crisps.
7. Newcastle city and coast.
8. The sight of Tyne bridge and Angel of the North from the train.
9. Paper wrapped fish and chips with seasoning salt and vinegar.
10. Scrambling away at the mere sight of postgrads. Hehehee..
11. Carboot sale and nonsense people sell there.
12. GNER trains. Train change at York.
13. Obsession with the weather.
14. Having scones with clotted cream and jam.
15. Pakistani-owned cornershops.
16. SPAR’s double chocolate chip cookies.
17. Stopping by the student union for every possible need/want.
18. British pool.
19. Rolling green hills.
20. Buying tulips during spring.
21. Bank holidays.
22. The ease of having a Switch card.
23. Enjoying the sun at public parks.
24. Growing tulips and daffodils and foxgolves in autumn.
25. Chips buttie.
26. Marvelling at how miniscule bedsits are.
27. AMAZING Christmas window displays.
28. Cobbled streets.
29. Eating cheese sandwich with crisps.
30. Kebabs.
31. People taking second third looks at you for looking “exotic” when you’re really one ordinary looking Malay.
32. Watching snooker on telly.
33. Breathing in crisp cold air when you first step out of the house.
34. Castles.
35. Covent Garden, Camden, Portobello markets.
36. London sights.
37. Getting amazed at the drones of people out to shop on Boxing day.
38. Super-friendly bus drivers.
39. Ploughman’s sandwich.
40. Watching teenage girls in Kappa trackie suits with gold jewellery pushing prams ala Vicky Pollard of Little Britain.
41. Pub grub.
42. The winter coat-muffler-skinny jumper-knee length skirt-knee high boots look.
43. Getting amazed at the amount of alcohol stocked up in the off license.
44. Getting amazed at the amount of alcohol bought from the off license.
45. Having custard with every possible type of dessert.
46. Jacket potatoes with cheese and sour cream and mushrooms (and whatever else you can think of and wish to put in it).
47. Seeing people start getting pissed at the Student Union as early at 11 a.m.
48. Being greeted with a “hiya” instead of “hi”.
49. Marks & Sparks’ 2 slice cheesecake pack and having its chocolate croissant for breakfast. OMG!! No wonder I was chunky.
50. Seeing old people in old style tweed jackets.
51. People having/making tea all the time.
52. Walking past the travel agent’s window and see packages being offered.
53. Beautiful falling snowflakes.
54. King prawn fried rice.
55. Bonfire Night.
56. Getting stunned by thick Geordie accent each time.
57. Lilt.
58. Muller’s yogurt.
59. Findus frozen lasagne.
60. Having a sandwich on a bench at Grey's monument and feeding chicken-resembling pigeons.
61. Boots!!

*sob*

got matchmade?

A last minute 2 person quiet break-fast do turned out to be an 8 person chill out session. Some of us haven't seen each other in months. Tales of pre-historic years and concerted immensely moronic behaviours were reminded to bring about hysterical laughters.

A lot of catching up was also involved - work updates, baby strollers discussions, who & who's wedding preparations, carpet purchase, raya plans, handbag du jour, holidays, job interview, weight loss methods, postgraduate coursework topics. Of course the inevitable usual matchmaking discussion also emerged.

I looked at MBF and silently mouthed 'Help'. She grinned.

I am impressed that they STILL have other friends to matchmake me with. Nonetheless I know they mean well and they care about me :)

Previously this topic was a somewhat taboo to me -- I used to violently decline each time this issue is brought up. They would stoically insist for weeks and I would reluctantly go with a whole army batallion and arrange for another friend to call me at a certain time so I would be able to excuse myself and conveniently leave the scene.

This carried on until MBA blasted me for being fearful and downright idiotic. He knew that I was happy with the way I run my life and brainwashed me -- being matchmade isn’t synonymous with being unhappy. He successfully gave me a new mantra -- there is nothing wrong with getting to know people. Which gave me some degree of courage. Perhaps a wee bit too much.

Because immediately after that I met a person who insisted that we should get to know each other solely because he thought I was aesthetically pleasing. Considering I was sporting my scruffy-and-too-late-for-shower-to-enjoy-my-extremely-late-Saturday-breakfast look when he first laid eyes on me, I relented. He turned out to be a bore, 40 (whatt? he didn't look it - credit to him), separated from his wife for the past 8 years, with children aged 12 and 7. I am horrible at calculations but I didn't even bother asking how come his son is 7 when he has separated for 8 years. Else than that, I experienced zero mental stimulation and more than once he wanted to stroke my face and took the liberty to voice out his analysis that I smoke far too much. I cut it short and never returned any of his phonecalls.

These are reasons why I find it uncomfortable being matchmade and these issues are not constricted; i.e. they’re bound to grow with more outings:

1. the person being matchmade is equally uncomfortable with the idea/is not keen with getting to know someone/is actually seeing someone and the matchmaker isn't aware of that fact.

2. if you do hit it off, the matchmaker/s will be gagging to know the day-to-day progress you have made and unintentionally leaves you feeling somewhat incomplete if the progress is the same as yesterday’s.

3. he could be a complete dufus and you would rather spend the time having all your molars from both your upper and lower teeth extracted at the very same time and recovering from it.

4. if you do enjoy his company, you can never be sure whether you are communicating with him too little/too much/too fast/too slow.

5. when you do communicate, there is no way of knowing whether he understands what you exactly mean. Yet if you explain things to him to rid of any possible misunderstandings, he sizes you up as a too eager psychotic nut rushing into things.

6. nobody, even yours truly, has yet to understand this habit of looking at things from 1,397 angles but still failing to overcome the fear.

Honestly, it is all extremely confusing business to me. But I still bother sometimes. Whatever.

of footie and Birkin

Yeah, yeah. We lost at home. As I heavy heartedly wave goodbye to the 3 points we so closely realised and will never get a second chance to attain, I switched off the telly. We were 14th before the defeat. I didn’t even want to know where we currently are.

Immediately a text came in. A forwarded text from a Boro fan who found the fact that we lost at home hilarious. Aaah.. I forgot now that Sunderland’s gone, our derby team is Boro. And we’re playing them this weekend at The Riverside. Mr I, do you realise I have never met you? So please, stop giving me abuse about the team I support! And Woodgate was supposed to come back to us okay?

Another text came in. A Liverpool fan whom I always watch the EPL matches with, felt sorry for us losing. The other apologised, as did one Arsenal fan.

This morning after our phonecall, MBF texted me as she thought it amusing that we lost to Bolton. I did nicely tell her not to mention footie to me today. And that since she doesn’t know who Liverpool’s current strikers are, she really is in no position to call herself a Kop fan and should just keep mum about our loss. Well. She didn’t. She was just asking for it. I exploded.

*sigh*

At least I’m not a glory supporter…

P/S: Mr I, I'll probably put up with your text-message-abuse in exchange for a Birkin...

Edit: I was just informed that Mr I is actually Mr E... See what I mean??

mini horseshoe pendant

I’ll just write this since I’m itching to post something and I have 2 seconds to spare.

Have you checked out my wishlist? It’s on my profile page and there are currently 4 items on my wishlist. If you have checked it out, you will have seen this cute horseshoe pendant necklace by Crislu sold at Nordstrom. If you click at that link, you will see a close-up photo of a woman wearing it. Absolutely stunning...

The thing is, I have been searching for a tiny horseshoe pendant necklace for at least 5 years now. And yes, though I know Tiffany & Co has them; no, I don’t have moolah coming out of my ears so that option is out the window.

If somebody knows for a fact where to find one right here in our hazed out Klang Valley (else than Tiffany & Co), please be an angel and let me know. I’ll treat you to a nice dinner… Anyone?

isn't it Friday in your country too?

If they absolutely have GOT to piss me off, must it be done on a Friday afternoon?

I am not very fond of those who insist on having a meeting once a week and call you every damn day for their many questions (which 9 out of 10 times are ALREADY answered by way of a letter/email which of course, somehow, mysteriously went AWOL in their land. As did their memory).

I mean, I am not in-house – you are. With the greatest respect, I have others to attend to and no, I haven’t got the time or the slightest interest regarding your business decisions. I have made clear your options so decide already!!

And stop giving me abuse about the receptionist refusing to give out my mobile number to you. It’s firm policy so deal with it.

Sayang?

WTF??!!

Euw..

*sigh*

How is it that today is Friday?

…I’m undecided whether I want to cry or throw up…

fluff-boy tales

Browsing for some treats for the kittens at the pet store last Saturday, I came across a cutesy t-shirt which I reckon tailored for little dogs. I held up the cream one and imagined my cat in it... hehe... What a cute image... At the very least he would blend in – it is the same shade as his fur. But the neck is too uncomfortable for my fatty.

Then I saw the same one in lilac... Maybe it’s a bit gay for my boy but I simply love the shade. And it came in a size bigger... I bought it, together with the food treats for the baby cats and buggered off home.

Once home I placed him on my lap and put the t-shirt on. Fits him well... I wasn’t surprised when I saw the look on his face -- not pleased. To be honest he’s got an annoyed look on his face almost all the time anyway. He’s a grumpy 11 year old and each time he wants to go out someone has to keep an eye on him. Why? Because he doesn’t know how to come back. He just walks in one direction. Maybe I should get the waistcoat with the leash next time? Then we can go for walks.

I took in his appearance slowly and it put a grin on my face – cute nya… He looks a tad like a male lion because the t-shirt holds down the fur from under his neck to his belly so it makes the fur on his face look extremely poofed up. And his ass just looks enormous and fluffy wearing that t-shirt... That said, the lilac suits him well. After a while he tried licking the t-shirt and started walking as if impersonating a Bassett... At one point he was doing Michael Jackson’s moonwalk... Hehehehe... So adorable… After a while, he gave up, jumped on the bed and did what he does best -- napped.

He’s one cute kitty with or without the t-shirt :)

Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell
Blue skies from pain
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish
How I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same old ground
What have we found?
The same old fears
Wish you were here

This is the lyrics to one of my favourite songs.

Songs are subject to personal interpretation and it took me a while to appreciate the words. This song is special and it makes me want to listen to it repeatedly. It IS a sad song, but I think it’s superb, do have a listen to this song -- Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd.

To me this song is about internal conflict regarding absence and how to cope with it. The sound and the lyrics both astoundingly manage to form the overall sense of loss and emptiness. It evokes a kind of miserable yet mellow emotion. No complicated layers of music, yet amazingly beautiful in its simplicity. It just makes me want to feel…

Misjudgment and absence.

Choices made based on what one knows. But usually there are more to it than what one knows.

Choosing Death; it forces the living to consider the options and make choices. Yet the living is torn between moving on or dying, because the dead is terribly missed.

Their souls are finding a way to be together, but failing.

That's what I think. What do you think?

(And no, I'm NOT under the influence..)

Well, have a great weekend!!!

updates

I’ve been asked why I haven’t been updating my blog.. Too many things are going on in my life now and I just can’t decide what to blog about. Or maybe I’m just lazy. Or maybe I’m in denial. Or maybe currently I’m sloth-like in the thinking department..

Okay, until I get industrious again, this is what's going on --

(1) it’s sunny blue skies in the mobile-phone department;

(2) have annoying teriyaki boyz song as ringtone;

(3) have developed a strange fondness towards mineral water;

(4) am currently in love with Tompi’s album but not keen on his slang in the English songs;

(5) have re-started re-reading The Zahir (sorry MBA.. I’ll finish it this time around..);

(6) have realised there’s actually a big difference between a tinted lip balm and lip gloss/stick;

(7) have re-discovered that sometimes the most sane thing to do is to be happy with the present as opposed to, even the least bit, holding on to the past (no matter how good the good times were) and secretly wishing to experience it again;

(8) have re-discovered that sometimes the equally sane thing to do is to be happy with the present as opposed to hating the past (no matter how repulsive the bad times were);

(9) am finally entertaining the thought that 18 pairs of Havaianas is perhaps an ickle bit unwise;

(10) can’t count for nuts! Thank God for MBF to convert those many many zeros..

(11) have developed some sort of understanding of my new hair;

(12) have already found my missing Fendi about 3 weeks back [check out my 19th August 2006 entry if you don’t know what I’m talking about..]

(13) have turned down an offer from the Jedi Master;

(14) do NOT FANCY gado-gado even if i tried;

(15) have been reminded that you never ever know everything THERE IS to know and you never really know everything you SHOULD know;

(16) roadusers are more courteous during Ramadhan, somehow.

birthday break

i looove bali :)


sunset @ kuta beach


@ old kerajaan ubud


surfer dude @ kuta beach ;)


carvings


kecak dance @ uluwatu


our temporary crib


pura tanah lot


uluwatu sunset


barong dance @ batubulan


nusa dua

it's a mobile tragedy

“Hello? ….Helloo? ….HALLAAAO??”

This repeated for a few times. I got fed up. Convinced it was MBF’s phone going mental again, I confidently texted her to scoff at her mobile. “Eh what’s wrong with your phone ah?” I mean, her phone has been known to go cuckoo several times. I know for a fact that she’s meant to send it in for service but has yet to. She cunningly ignored my annoying question and instead replied saying that she was on her way to the gym. We were texting each other and from there I assumed that my phone was working fine.

Later, I received a few calls and tried to make some but encountered the same problem. “Alamak.. is it my phone?”

At my most technical-savvy echelon, Standard Operating Procedure is to reboot. Usually I haven’t the slightest idea what to do to fix it (read: I NEVER know what’s wrong in the first place). All the time I would reboot the item. Usually for me, problems are magically solved this way.

Still confident that nothing’s wrong with it, I did a soft reset. To my horror, nothing the least bit magical occurred. I tried a few times, only to face the same sense of hopelessness.

My limited knowledge of all things technical provided me one final option.. *gasp*.. a full reset. OMG.. Restoring it back to factory setting feels like letting something familiar go and having to embrace and acclimatise yourself with something foreign. I backed it up and after a long deep breath – did the dreaded full reset. Results? Except making me feel as if my phone had suffered memory loss and forgotten my preferred settings, nothing constructive was forthcoming.

I brought it in to the customer service centre and despite insisting that it is a disaster of major proportions, I was told to have the phone looked at and leaving it there. After pacifying me, they promised to fix it within 3 days and they will get in touch with me once it is ready. And no, they don’t provide spare phones. Despite them being apologetic, this is really absurd considering the phone is still under warranty.

At the outset I thought it might be peaceful to be without a mobile. After all of 2 long hours, I had already changed my mind. I mean, seriously… I need it. MM is charitable enough to let me use her basic but reliable phone in the meantime.

I tried my luck ringing them but apparently it is still in troubleshooting stage. They better fix it by the third day else I will shoot somebody…

if only

Sometimes it hurts to know the truth. It also hurts to cause it to another. Hurts even more when resolving it is not a mutual option.

Seven days and counting…

reality bites

I stumbled across a somewhat interesting cum bizarre piece in The Star this morning.

A Bidayuh couple was taking shelter in a hut during a storm and the husband died after getting struck by lightning. She left the body alone for more than half a day. Initially I thought she was too distraught to come to terms with the fact and the manner of which he passed. Apparently it is their belief that if someone is struck by lightning and the body is left untouched for a while, that person will come back to life.

I then thought, how bizarre... I cannot imagine how one can just look at one’s husband who just got struck by lightning and died in front of your eyes and not touch him? For 15 hours? Has she no feelings at all?

But then again, I’m not Bidayuh and I don’t think the wife even knows what the yardstick is for “a while” (to leave him untouched, in order to make him come back). Poor lady.. It must be really heartbreaking to be a spectator of the whole incident and there you are all of 15 hours just looking at him wishing hard that he will come back to life.

This little piece of news just shows how powerful beliefs are.

Personally though, the bigger task is to think and not blindly believe. One’s beliefs may change but reality stays. And most times it bites you in the ass...

just friends

I watched Just Friends yesterday. Ryan Reynolds is HOTTT. (He's Berg in 2 guys a girl and a pizza place). Anyway, it’s a movie about a high school geek who was secretly in love with his best friend. His written love confession fell into the wrong hands and was made fun of. Scarred, he left his hometown and became supersuccessful and of course, became a player. To cut things short, after 10 subsequent years he ended up in his hometown and met her. He still felt something for her. They agreed to go out for a day date -- it did not go well. After walking her to the door, he went for the kiss. She went for the hug. They were then caught in a kiss-hug limbo type of thing and hilariously he ended up shaking her. Bear in mind he's a player. It was a riot! I was laughing my head off.

Then, haha I’m not going to burst the bubble. Though I thought it was abruptly ended, it was fun. Go watch it :)

p/s: Congratulations to the proud parents of lil baby ZHHZ :)

zzzzzzzzz

I am so unbelievably lazy nowadays it’s not funny. It offends me.. Am just in no mood to fervently attend to work-related matters. I just ensure I meet deadlines for the sake of it.

Anybody got any ideas how to rid of this phase?

Terdiam - Maliq & D'Essentials

mataku terus tertuju padamu
saat kulihat dirimu tersenyum
ingin aku menyapa
namun ku terdiam tak kulakukan

mungkinkah kau pun juga begitu
tahu kau masih malu mungkin
sungguh ingin ku sapa
namun ku terdiam tak kulakukan

apakah kau rasakan
getaranku pada dirimu
ku hanya duduk terdiam
menunggu untuk tahu namamu

ku menunggu untuk tahu namamu
namun ku terdiam tak kulakukan
mataku terus tertuju padamu
inginku sapa dirimu
namun ku masih malu tuk hampiri dirimu
diriku terdiam, aku menunggu, aku terpaku

have you ever?

Ever heard a tune and somehow you’re immediately transported back to that particular time in your life which was unpleasant? You’re sitting there thinking okay let’s just focus on the good, despite whatever happened, but the song goes on and on. More things come to mind. The moment which concerns the song; the conversation surrounding the song and the list goes on. Hey you’re only human. When you notice this unhealthy thing your head is doing, you feel thrown, because for sanity’s sake you shouldn’t be thinking about all that. You shouldn’t be prompted to pay a visit down bad memory lane – unless you choose to. You then proceed to give conscious instructions to your brains to not get carried away with your memories lest it will just rip you apart. Turn to putty.

Ever been moved by a song and the lyrics reflect your actual sentiment on an issue? When your friend tells you that a certain song is dedicated to you and thanks you for the friendship. When you reflect on what you’ve gone through and think “oh, so situations like that happen to other people too..”. When someone tells you a song is about exactly how he feels for you.

Ever listened to a melody so pleasing to the ear it makes you smile and lifts your mood? You find yourself reminiscing various moments of merriment. That outing during college; that 80’s song during your childhood; the first time you bump into that special someone; your first day at work; that choir try-outs in primary school; that summer; your first double espresso after walking around like a zombie due to pulling an all-nighter working on your assignment which earned you an ass-saving results; that night out when your friends act hilariously mental channeling Beyonce or Naomi or Adriana Lima (isn’t that every night out guys ;p hahahaa).

Ever seen a live performance and despite the musician being far from hot, you are smitten? Just because he’s first-rate – in your eyes, at least.

I “heart” music :)

'Femi is a Geordie

"He looks like a gorilla.."

Who cares? He could be related to the Johore Bigfoot for all I care. Since when whether you're good or not is dependant on what you look like? Yeah, I'm a chick and a hot striker would be nice to look at but he needs to be one that delivers. We desperately needed a striker, and finally after the whole dingdong-ing the past month, the agreement was signed. With Shearer’s retirement and Owen being out the whole season, our ONLY forward was Ameobi (somehow Luque can’t gel with the team). Satu je? Camana nak main bola?

Not anymore. Welcome, Obafemi Martins :)

(edit @ 1 a.m. on 28/08/2006: He got stretchered off the field during his debut.. bad omen?)

THE NARCISSISTIC CHOCPOT PART 2

Favourite Rockstar Supernova: Ryan Star

Favourite item of clothing: Footwear :)

What are you listening to right now? Maliq & d’Essentials, Zero 7, Sergio Mendes Timeless, whatever’s on Fly FM

Favourite sport to watch: Football

Favourite day of the week: Saturday

Favourite time of the year: The stretch from Chrismas Eve to New Year

How many times did you fail your driver's test? None

Favourite flower: Lilies – stargazer, calla

Lake, Ocean or river? Ocean

Favourite fastfood: KFC – if that’s considered fastfood. If not, McDonald’s.

Despised characteristics: Cockiness, Deceit, Insincerity

tight spot

Do you prefer this or that?

Everybody's different. I appreciate that fact. But when posed with the question whether I mind A or B when talking about a surprise meant for me, I am put in a tight position. How does one answer that question anyway?

Well, THAT is a surprise...

No 14

Courtesy of hollaback boi, my very early birthday present. Aren’t they the most adorable pair of flipflops you have ever seen?? I’m supposed to be the chick gaped at by all the monkeys.. hahaa..

Thanks doll, LOVES it!

Check these babies out at www.havaianas.com :)

Bag it!

Help. I'm missing a missing handbag. (YES, you read that right). It has been more than a month.

Where can it be? I’ve searched high and low for it. Where I keep my handbags. Nope. Where I keep my shoes. No luck there. My closet. No. My chest of drawers. Not there. Under the bed (in case I somehow kicked it off the bed in my sleep or something..). No. Inside my other bags. No such luck. My luggage. Nada. My laundry basket (just in case). Only laundry. My car. Not there either. I’m sure I didn't leave it anywhere public.

It is black nappa leather with apple green lining and gunmetal hardware - double Fs placed upside down forming a rectangle with apple green in between. A simple shoulderbag. It's hardly practical because it isn't roomy. Girls like to carry massive bags that can fit everything thinkable from safety pins to makeup bag to notepads to painkillers to pepper spray to bottled water to kitchen sink. Which could conveniently double up as a weapon to brutally whack assailants when the need arises.

But that isn’t the point.

The point is -- I love that bag. Despite its little-ness and impracticality. Despite using it at most twice a month. Despite not being the handbag du jour (that's to you hollaback boi :p). I love it because 1. it's mine 2. I love the apple green 3. I think it's timeless. All that's left of it is the dustbag. What a sad and pitiful sight. My Baguette!! Where is it? Any ideas? It's driving me crazy...

very noisy

OMG this constant shrill of drilling and renovation works in the office next door is REALLY pissing me off..

SERIOUSLY
…
..
WOULD
…
YOU
…
PLEASE
…
..
STOP
…
THE
…
F**KING
…
NOISE????!!!

Hey, I sound crazy.. hahaha.

Have a good weekend people.

the powers that be

I did everything to ensure a thorough and complete getting-up for today’s submissions. One must always be ready. Allocated research topics, held discussions, considered views and authorities, tied up the relevant authorities to the facts and issues at hand, prepared arguments, compiled bundles.

Adjourned. Yet again...

*sigh*

i love cake

MBF’s birthday dinner was organised by a bunch of sick people. No, literally sick. Thanks AHP for your gracious efforts despite confident of being on the verge of fainting from high fever that very afternoon. The balloons and the Crown were just too cute.

A few days prior, the email came to us both. Looks like we’re both going to have to do this, AHP. AHP and I took the trouble to spread the word around and emailed everybody to RSVP so we could take care of the booking. Someone unknowingly cc-ed the email to MBF and there it was, all the plan in its minute details.. Oh well.

That Saturday night, despite feeling as if my head was going to burst open each time I coughed, I took with me my faithful bottle of Panadol and shawl, which proved to be useful later on as a blanket. It was a very fun, pleasant, laughter-filled casual dinner to celebrate Her Majesty the Queen’s birthday. Policeman was sweet. The Crown should really be handed to him for having to deal with the Queen. Hehe. We were taking quite a few photos but hollaback boi, your presence was terribly missed. No one would actually snap photos every 3 seconds, right? Wrong. You haven’t been introduced to hollaback boi. Posers unite!! I chose a cocktail for DD which I found out later that he hated. Ooops, I thought everybody loves kahlua.. And with a name like Screaming Orgasm, who would have thought it’s anything short of appealing?? Choonism brought his Taiwan artiste get-up for photos. With a face like that, darling, you really don’t need it! I caught Choonism and MBA staring – Hey!! What are you two doing? MBA was kind enough to give me a hug to feel better. Uscaaaary was not so scary that night. MOBF, LH and Ms O all came with their respective Bs. Aaaaaaaaaw… Ms O commented that MOBF and MOBFH look like they’re still dating :) Hahaa.. Cuteness. A, U and Akudia came for a bit as they had to be elsewhere prior. Ooo la la la was smart and early, also kind enough to help AHP with the bills. A little after 11pm, half of a twin and husband came to join us.

Après-dinner entertainment was Macau for a sing-a-long affair… it turned out to be a club at some points. And yup, I finally got to see the ever so famous fruit platter – it came with this little smoky thingie in some little jar placed together with the fruits. Purpose? Inexplicable…

I finally got home, still feverish, almost voiceless, with a damn sore throat, watery eyes and terrible flu. I just sank onto the bed and despite the state I was in, it was really so much fun to see everyone.

MBF, glad you enjoyed it dear!

guilty pleasure

It’s Friday? Already?? Where did the week go? Stress levels were high the past few days. The sick monster is rearing its ugly head again.. Tummy is aching. Sheesh.. So not on.

The only thing making me smile at the moment is the fact that I managed to complete the Geordies’ premiership fixture in my phone. No I’m no crazy extremist know-it-all fan but I just like to know when the matches are. And the results. And the scorer :) CAN THE SEASON START ALREADY???

Also, can the rumoured strikers and defenders just sign the agreements?? I can't wait..

21 candles

The phone rang. It was MBF. She didn’t sound like her usual self – troubled, upset, sad. She told me. From where I was, I took the next train to Coventry, a long ride which involved me freezing my arse during 2 changes in some ghost-town stations in the middle of bloody winter. Already there when I finally arrived, she saw me, managed a grin and gave me a bearhug.

*

Our first encounter was at college. She barged into the room. As she literally threw her belongings on the table, my first thought was OMG this is going to be one grumpy person to live with...
BTW it was due to PMS ;p

*

A talent scout stopped us in a mall and tried to convince us to go for casting. She was certain we weren’t locals. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. How lame was that? She must have been desperate. Honestly.

*

I had completed my pupillage when I found out she was finally coming home. She wasn’t sure of the exact date. One afternoon, I was out of the office running errands in the city and when the lift doors opened, we were looking at each other. What were the odds?

:)

Ultimately, she's a caring and terribly sincere person with a big heart and a beautiful soul. You just have to get to know her well enough to enjoy the privilege :)

MBF, these snippets make me smile and hopefully they do the same to you. Have an amazing 365 days ahead for your 21st darling ;) You're truly a gem. My sincerest best wishes always. Muaks!

offside

He came up to us. Bizarre. He greeted SNB and they shook hands. They exchanged pleasantries. He then said hi to me and extended his hand. Dumbfounded, I stared at it. After all, which part of I refuse to have anything to do with him didn’t he comprehend?

What do I want to do with this extended hand? Do I make a scene? Walk away? Chop it off?

After a few seconds of deliberations, I quietly shook it. He held it for a tad bit longer and squeezed it.

For a moment I was mystified. What was that all about?

An Offside. That's what it was.

p/s: SNB, you owe me a Geordie match trip! Woohoo!!!

poo-less

At approximately 12:25 MBF rings me at the office and before I could say anything she goes: “Chocpot I think Anuar Zain has migrated lah because he is no longer in the scene nor has he released any new albums. What do you think ah?”

Right.

“Uhm MBF do I really need to ponder about that now? Work maybe?”

“No, REALLY, it is a huge waste to the entertainment scene both locally and internationally. Where is he Chocpot, where?”

Righttt.

“Uhmmmmm.. really.. nanti okay we chat about this” (read: I’m not bothered and I don’t know and really, I don’t even want to think about it.. *evil laugh*)

She is a super huge mega fan of his. But sweetheart, a signed cd is NOT a sign that he loves you alone okay.. Seriously.

Somehow I managed to swerve the conversation to the happenings during her weekend as she was away and I filled her in with what I got up to.

“What Chocpot, you washed the car?? What did you use?”

Hmm.. scrubbing bird poo and some other icky bits off the car does not amount to actually washing the car kan? And I couldn’t find any car shampoo in the house so I used Loreal Elseve Colour-Vive Care Shampoo. If it’s good enough for my pink hair, it should be good enough for my green car. No? She thought I was insane. [Anybody knows if this is goes against the carcare commandments or something?]

Well, the car did actually look worst after (not because of the hair shampoo, but because I realised it involved a bit of hard work so I just sprayed water after I was done and left it that way, AND I couldn’t be arsed to go to the carwash..). But it was without a huge splat of poo on its hood. Mission partially accomplished...

"Ala Chocpot it's my lunch hour already lah.."

Phew..

Que Sera Sera

There is this little item of mine that I really like. It was a surprise gift. Very pretty in cutesy babycolours. It probably cost the person peanuts. Despite that, what I felt during that period coupled with the surprise and excitement when I pulled it out of its dustbag -- distinctly memorable.

Things took quite a number of turns (including u-turns and circling around roundabouts) and plunged for the worst. Beyond imagination. It was an extended emotional rollercoaster. Once bitten, twice shy. Twice bitten, pure torture.

So I mulled over the item. Shall I get rid of it? Considering I couldn't even look at it, what's the use of keeping it?

...should i? or not?

...

think!

...

grr...

Having spent my limited braincells and waaay too much time on the issue, I’ve finally decided to keep it. I figured it is a reminder of how wonderful someone can make me feel out of his kindness and fondness of me. Whatever the end result is. That train of thought should stop there. It's now tucked away, somewhere I hope I'll forget soon enough.

The gift - Would you keep it or ditch it?

sleeping giant

The medication I was prescribed made me very drowsy. I was told to get a lot of rest. All I did was sleep in ridiculous proportions until I felt extremely useless. No sight of eucalyptus tree anywhere so I did not subconsciously chew on its leaves thus did not officially metamorphosed into a koala. Can't wait to fully recover...

I checked the internet -- the Geordies will buy more players. (Kuyt? Wasn’t that rumour going around since like aaaaages ago.. Thomas Gravesen? From Real Madrid? Really? Ronaldo? Hee hee.. that’s a bit far fetched kut..) My sleeping giant.. H’oway the lads!!!

Wake up already..

in the pursuit of happiness

Funny when you've decided to not give a toss anymore, a simple act makes you smile and you want to hold on for just a little bit more. Is it worth it? Is it against your better judgment? Who knows..

sick :(

you sound like shit.
yah lah you sound terrible.
you should go drink hot soup.
do you have a fever?
you're not smoking are you?
go see a doctor!
you sound terrible.
what are you doing in the office?
do you have a lot of work, if not you should go home and rest.
GO!!

Grr.. Can someone come fetch me and send me to the doctor's and buy me cheesecake and send me home?

sole-mate

Aren't these strappies fabulous?? Am soooo loving them :)

A friend texted me to ask whether I was too sleepy to update my blog. I have fans!!! Muwahahahaa *jump up and down*

Last night the 5 of us went to watch Sheila Majid’s Sunday Nite Live. None of us could fathom why she does a show in such a miniscule space but nonetheless, it was brilliant. I know some will not share my sentiment, but in my eyes, she's a legend. She sang most of her songs, in medley form. It was a quasi-karaoke session for us, which ended slightly before 2 a.m., leaving us with sore throats. An Indonesian friend who is bringing her to Jakarta in November also offered us special treatment should we attend her concert there. Ooooh.. Very tempting.

Saturday night I was at The Flo watching Double Take Summer Jazz Series 2. They are just superb. If you haven’t heard of them, please do yourself a favour and check out their album/gig. And no, I'm not getting paid to do this...

MISCONCEPTION

A while back there were increasing assertions that Malaysia is an Islamic State.

In the Federal Constitution, Islam is the official religion of Malaysia but other religions may be practised in peace and harmony in any part of the country . The FC also states that it (the Constitution) is the supreme law of Malaysia.

A petition was forwarded to me a few months back. The Article 11 petition sought to create awareness of the Federal Constitution -- our rights secured therein; together with the concept of the rule of law.

I signed it, and further forwarded the petition. Whether you sign it or not, it really is up to you.

Some replied my email and said "are you sure you want to sign it?" A few people have stopped emailing me altogether. Oh well. To each, its own. It touches religious and racial sensitivities anyway. I just wish people wouldn't be so quick to pass judgment and form rigid uninformed opinions.

Of utmost importance, one MUST be clear on what is an Islamic Country and what is an Islamic State.

The former is a country in which the majority are Muslims. The latter is a country in which the supreme law is the syariah.

Clearly Malaysia falls under the former category. Our supreme law is the Constitution. That is all Article 11 is about -- the Federal Constitution and its supremacy. It does not seek to CHANGE anything, it just seeks to create awareness of what is ALREADY in our Constitution.

Now there is this whole brouhaha that Article 11 seeks to revive the Inter Faith Commission initiative, seeks to attack the administration of Islamic Law and position of the Rulers.

Where did that come from?

Get your facts right!

Sizing up the girl. Literally..

I was rearranging my clothes and hidden under some piles of tops was this familiar looking pair of jeans. OMG!! My once most favourite pair of non-stretch 100% cotton Juicy Couture jeans, they fit me like second skin. When did I last wear them? I can’t seem to recall. Excited, I grabbed hold of them. They have this distressed worn-out nuovo grunge look which I looove. Frayed at some strategic places with its logo embroidered at the right back pocket and some unstitched bits on the left back pocket. Absobloodylutely scrumptious.

Lalalalaa... I slipped them on. Some unfamiliar difficulties in the process. Eh, how come ah? Hmm.. Why do they feel uncomfortable on me? I moved around in them. Oh no.. It just feels WRONG. Have I packed in some inches? Puzzled, I took them off and checked the label.

Juicy Couture Jeans. Made in the Glamorous U.S.A. 24.

Size 24? What was I thinking?!! I must have bought them during my depressed superskinny phase. Hell, I’m not even going to bother to WANT to fit comfortably in them. Sorry hollaback boi, thinspiration no more. I can't commit to that whole Nicole Richie look.

Now where's my pair of Seven? I better try them on...

Blonde

I had a JPJ parking summons issued against me. I asked the JPJ officer whether it can be nullified because I had valid reasons. Honest. I had a matter and the lack of parking spaces there is legendary. And matters get thrown out if you're late.

The place sits atop a hill and trust me, the rushed hike uphill in pointed black pumps with handbag over shoulder and 4 kilos worth of documents in hand will leave you breathless. That in itself is a workout. What more if you park at the parking bay at the bottom of the hill 400 meters away from the entrance (should Lady Luck be smiling down on you that morning and you actually manage to find one). So add that to the uphill 'battle' for the unfit.

Eventually everybody will park by the roadside. Which was what I did. Wrapped up the matter at 11:30am and there it was, that little piece of paper sitting on my windscreen, held down by my wiper.

To cut it short, after 9 whole months of their deliberations, I was informed that my valid reasons apparently were not good enough. The officer told me that I was to appear in court in July 2006. According to him that was the better option, compared to paying the compound, considering my valid reasons. Perhaps the magistrate has more common sense than the JPJ officers. Worth a shot.

I looked at the summons. 26 July.

On my way there this morning, the jam was terrible than norm. Some major road closure. Alamak... I’m going to be very late. So I decided to look at the summons again.

"Offence date: 26 July 2005. You are hereby ordered to appear in person on 17 July 2006..."

Eh? Whaa..t? 17 July 2006. Shittt!!! OMG! It was 8:50am. The trip would normally take 40 minutes from my jam spot. I was not moving. At all. And I know for a fact that procedurally, a warrant of arrest would be issued against non-attendees. Heck, I've asked for warrants of arrest to be issued against non-attendees before. Arghh! I envisioned the court bailiff coming to the house and Mummy will be on the verge of a cardiac arrest. Okay stop that thought. Not pleasant. Don’t panic. Okay. Uhm.. Allright, smoke. Okay.

I rang MBF. I told her. She panics. Call Doc K! Get mc for 17th! Dear, it's 26th already. Okay. Get mc for 17th till 25th!

Uhm.. That's like 8 days mc. What sickness? Parkinson's disease? Illiteracy? Stupidity?

I told her I'd just get to court first. If I can actually move my car it'd be great. We chatted some more. She said if they want to throw me into a lockup and I get that 1 phonecall, call her and she'll sort things out. Somehow.

When I finally got there, I went inside in my black and white getup but the court was not in session. "Saman JPJ? Hari ni takde.." Yes uncle I know.. I looked at the wrong date. He was very nice though and said to go to JPJ to get it sorted out. He confirmed there was no warrant of arrest issued yet.

Thank you God.. Saved Mummy from drama.

Off to JPJ I went and after a relatively short wait I was given another date.

*Relief*

I think at times I am blonde...

destination singledom?

A close friend had a hilarious post about the bunch of us. I’ve been wittily described as a shopaholic mad about her Havaianas and handbags, a cig n caffeine addict; a self-sufficient girl-power chick who doesn’t need a man (note the bold italicised bit), amongst other things.

I went through the post again this morning. Hmm.. The bold italicised bit stirred me a little because I thought I sound like a and was painted as a femiNazi. Alamak.. Do I exude such impression?

In fairness, to a certain extent, maybe I do seem like one. But it isn’t necessarily true :) Betul ni....

To be in a mutually satisfying couple-dom, to have a partner; it’s delightful, it’s fun. Isn’t that natural to want?

I’ve my share of mistakes, errors of judgment, things that make me feel like kicking myself when I look back. Maybe I’m too cautious after. But what other way is there? Make do with anyone? Look at the bigger picture -- I might as well be happy with all I'm blessed with.

Eh ooo-la-la-la, I’m no spice girl lah.. Not girl power.

But then again, it’s a tongue-in-cheek post.. Hilarious exaggerated descriptions. No offence meant and none taken. Brilliant post. Congratulations on ur blog my dear!

the 13th flips

I wore my 13th pair of Havaianas for the first time last night. They're baby pink with light green thongs. I absolutely love them.

Can somebody please please bring its whole range to Malaysia? Or does somebody know where to get them in KL else than at pedder red klcc or fourskin OU?

Meow-ingtons

Would appreciate answers if you have them and if time permits you:
1. Is it normal to eat non-stop when on holiday?
2. Anyone has a Norwegian forest cat?
3. Can I meet him/her? Please?
4. Should I try the sago worms?
5. Why does the Sarawak Cultural Village close at 5pm?
6. How can crocodiles grow to 19 feet +?
7. What do they eat?!
8. Why are fat furry things generally cute?
9. How come I haven’t seen any hornbills in the land of the hornbill?
10. Is the Kuching cat museum the only museum dedicated to cats in the world?

fat people are more difficult to kidnap

A colleague came to me and said "My doctor says I should not be under a lot of stress now. I've low blood pressure."

Yes. Not even 1 year in practice. Poor girl. On the other hand I felt like doing a cheerful little dance to welcome her aboard.

But it got me thinking about me. I'm denial queen. Low blood pressure and superhigh cholesterol. So not on.

Despite that, it has been ages since I did yoga. Or went walking. Or went swimming. Or did anything remotely beneficial to my health. 3 months to be exact.. *sigh*

This isn't good. It doesn't help that I can't remember where I chucked my supplements. Or cut down the cigs. Or have proper meals. And I'm due for that dreaded doctor's appointment. I've ran out of excuses. But worry is just going to add to the stress, which is a no-no. Kan?

On the up side, fat people are more difficult to kidnap..

THE NARCISSISTIC CHOCPOT PART 1

5 favourite scents:
1. Stella - Stella McCartney
2. Lovely - Sarah Jessica Parker
3. Romance - Ralph Lauren
4. Envy me - Gucci
5. Cerruti 1881 Pour Femme

4 vices:
1. Cig
2. Irregular food
3. Irregular sleep
4. Coffee

3 favoured looks:
1. Bohemian
2. Beach/casual
3. Grecian

2 ultimate chillout sess:
1. Quiet chilling at the beach in the sun, slow breeze, birds chirping, waves lapping, powder white sand, good book
2. Post-yoga

Favourite meal:
Weekend breakfast

Chocolate or icecream?
Chocolate icecream

Handbag or shoes?
Shoes AND handbags

F1 or WRC?
Uhmm..

Vacation preference: few places in a week or one place for a week
One place for a few days

Favourite candy bar:
Lindt’s Excellence 70% Dark Chocolate Squares

Nasi lemak or roti canai:
Tough one.. both alternately?

kiss of death

We knew each other. Feelings took charge. Overwhelmed.

"Isn’t she lovely?" Darling, I sure am.
Lovely as lovely can be. You said that.

Consciously he tore me apart. I left.

He reached out for me. Certain, he said. Undaunted. Promises.

Not for long. Now unsure. Again. After all that?

Had he no conscience? Were my senses impaired?

There he goes again prancing about like an angel. Strange. How does he live with himself?

Self-declared bastard.

I’m sorry, it doesn't hurt to know, but that just doesn't cut. It doesn't make it better. It doesn't even change anything.
Apology? Too little too late. Perhaps in time.
Friends? Not in this life. It would be ideal, but you're just not worth it.

It had to happen the way it did. I can now see.

Disentangled. Free.

One less eyecandy

The Brasil-Japan match in the last World Cup group F game was his final. Hidetoshi Nakata has retired from football. What a waste... http://nakata.net/en/

mindtrip

MBA shook me up last week. He made me see some things from a different perspective. He knows most of my sob stories and my fears and my reservations. He also knows what it is that I look for.

Yes, it’s true what he said. Consequently, I’m somewhat braver now. Little by little.

Thank you darling.

I TOUCHED A PYTHON!!!

I’ve always known he was a pianist, I’ve always known he plays there sometimes. I've heard him play. Come Friday night, despite being robbed of our original table, we were seated somewhere behind. Unplanned, he was in full view. Conclusion: Sheer brilliance. He literally threw his fingers all over the piano like an ace, jammed with the drummer (who was also good, but that’s not the point here..) and he could light his cig AND smoke it during. I was smitten!!! What is IT with musicians that makes them so damned attractive… To me anyway. I especially love it when after they finish, they’d just sit with their buddies and chat away; looking like any Tom, Dick or Harry.

Everyone can look like anyone – until you know something about them that makes them uncommon to you.

Yesterday the four of us was reaching the end of our afternoon tea when I suggested that we prolong our outing and amuse ourselves with something different. It was about 5 p.m. and my idea was to enjoy the rest of the afternoon. A walk in the Lake Gardens? No takers. They stared at me as if I grew a third eye just by suggesting that. Oookay. Surprisingly, they were game for the second idea, and off to the zoo we went.

Not much changed since my last visit. A baby giraffe was so beautifully gorgeous that I felt like taking him home just to see my cat’s reaction to it. Hehehe.. I think I’ll definitely enjoy the shock in Sumo’s face; taking in the existence of a baby giraffe.. hehehe. Must annoy Sumo more.

Come sundown the mosquitoes, though definitely not the for-show zoo inhabitants, were enjoying a buffet spread on my legs. Grr.. Must put insect repellant in bag. Uhmm.. what the heck for, really.. It’s not like we make a point to roam around some wooded areas during Maghrib anyway. Oh no.. Is there really some hantu beruk??

A stop at the restaurant for a smoke, drink and nibble, off we went to catch the 8:30 p.m. show. There HAD to be a python kan. A supergigantic thing. I DO NOT like snakes. DO NOT. Each time I think of them I feel all geli geleman. Euw.. I see the giant wrapped around his trainer’s leg and body and neck, my automatic reaction is to cringe and shiver and desperately look elsewhere.

I don’t know what possessed me at the end of the show that I had the urge to be friendly with the giant. By friendly I mean a loving touch -- all of 2 seconds. That’s friendly enough...

Half a meter away, its skin was actually quite beautiful -– shades of grey and blue with bits of gold. The python’s skin felt quite cold, firm, smooth and scaly. Kinda like a lawyer. Hahhahahahaaa.

It felt like touching a big firm fish, without the wet bit (noooo!!! :p). It wasn’t as bad as how I pictured it.

Small to some, THAT was progress enough for me :)

The Blog War

Somewhat challenged in all things technical, the furthest I’ve gone is to regularly visit a few that I found interesting enough. Never had I the urge to have my very own – until the blog war. Some friends have been waging major war against each other for the whose-is-the-better-blog-award. Hmm.. what’s the excitement all about? One HAS to be curious after ALL THAT. My friends are a wonderful crazy bunch, let me tell you that much.

So here I am. Blog virgin. Perhaps this beats the conventional type of writing that I only normally do i.e. paper and pen. Who knows?

Yesterday I was alerted that if you’re on diet and you’re thinking “I should not have that yummy slice of chocolate chunk cheesecake”, you’re actually concentrating on the goddamned cheesecake – which ultimately makes your diet a tad more arduous to stick to. Which makes complete sense.

How then do you explain why psychiatrists make their patients revisit their life-scarring experiences -- the ultimate goal of which is to stop thinking about those experiences?

Perhaps understanding is the key here. Once you truly understand, then you are able to see things for what they are and would be able to make better judgment in order to move on. Sounds easy enough doesn’t it?

Sometimes we are stubborn for the wrong reasons. In effect we are actually subconsciously digging a deeper hole for us to plunge into when it all falls apart.

But then again, the “wrong” reasons will only reveal themselves AFTER the catastrophe has occured.

I’ll take my chances. Now where’s that lovely cheesecake?