visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

You'll Be Safe HERE

When nothing makes sense I just want to disappear to jaffa cake land, practise yoga, lie in the sun and turn into a mermaid.

I still remember how I was lured to leave the safety of my cocoon and take a chance. I think I’m glad I did.

I’m heading back to that cocoon, and despite him thinking that Rivermaya is akin to Asian Coldplay wanabe; I like them anyway and I dedicate this song to me :)

Nobody knows just why we’re here
Could it be fate or random circumstance
At the right place at the right time
Two roads intertwine

And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives to make us fuel and fire
Then know where ever you will be
So too shall I be

Close your eyes
Dry your tears
‘Coz when nothing seems clear
You’ll be safe here

From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You’ll be safe here

Remember how we laughed until we cried
At the most stupid things like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong

And though the world would never understand this unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free
Pray and believe

When the light disappears and when this world’s insincere
You’ll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream I’ll scream with you
You’ll be safe here
Save your eyes from your tears when everything’s unclear
You’ll be safe here
From the sheer weight of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart

When the light disappears and when this world’s insincere
You’ll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream I’ll scream with you
You’ll be safe here
In my arms through the long cold night sleep tight
You’ll be safe here
When no one understands I’ll believe
You’ll be safe
You’ll be safe
You’ll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You’ll be safe here



I hope I don’t win that Channel V Madonna contest. What on earth am I going to do with an Epiphone Les Paul?

...you will be alright

Just another chapter in my colourful life. Time is a healer, I learnt that many times. Of course I will be alright.

fooooood please

Guilty.

I just finished a whole box of orange jaffa cakes (apparently they now have it in blackcurrant and lemon & lime) courtesy of GNB who just came back from England. I asked for one box, he was thoughtful enough to buy 2. Hoorays! Hey they're just 1 gram fat per cake. I probably ate like 20 in 1 1/2 hours.

Today was such a tiring day -- ran around like a headless chicken, lugged 14,000 pages of important documents in a bleeding suitcase (yes, suitcase) and went around the new monstrous complex to familiarise with it.

And had no time for lunch. Or breakfast. Thus the jaffa cakes binge.

I have been salivating over fatty crab's fried rice and chicken wings the past week. And I'm finally going now. I can't wait :)

Yummy yum yums!

hairy scary idea

I’ve been re-fringed!

Bbg, my gorgeous currently-sporting-a-crew-cut-and-still-looking-gorgeous-the-way-only-the-gorgeous-can friend cum genius hairstylist/stylist/ad hoc actor (BWAHAHAHAAA… Sorry dear, I just had to..) is teaming up with his boutique owner friend and doing a show in May. He asked me to get involved.

Involved? Involved how?

It entails getting a haircut/hair makeover (which I enjoy), being made up by a makeup artist (oooh! Only did it once before. One word sums it up. Fun!), become a clotheshorse and I probably get to keep the clothes (do I even need to say anything to this?? Hehe..). And catwalk down the runway (err.. *pause* say what?!). He proceeded to enthusiastically grab the layout of the runway and showed it to me, filled me in with the guest list and how they will be seated.

I couldn’t decide whether to be amused or puke blood.

Can I just sit instead?

The only catwalk I do is when I need to cheer myself up from working late coming back from the loo to my room at the office when no one's around. That too I burst out laughing.

Why can't I just sit?

non comprende

There were some things I never understood about people and how people act. Currently there are also instances that I don't comprehend human behaviour. The list just keeps inflating.

I used to feel bad about this. Previously I needed to understand. My mantra then was I NEED TO UNDERSTAND. What I didn't have in mind was that although I genuinely want to understand and take for granted that I will be told the truth, it doesn't work that way.

Sometimes non-balls people just tell you something they pluck from the air thinking it would go down better with you. There you were, struggling, trying your level best to make sense of and idealise what was told.

Some time down the road you find out something that is totally and bizarrely opposite of what they told you.

And WHAT was all your effort to understand for? To fill in time with buckets of tears?

Some people are just too shrink-wrapped in their pathetic series of emotional hallucinations at the expense of innocent bystanders who were never in the picture to begin with.

Whatever lah people. Severe pain would just land you in my shit list until you honestly truly think you deserve to crawl out of there.

I am reminded that there will always be occasions I do not understand people, close or not close alike. Spice of life?

*sigh*

mishmash

"you can't make your heart feel something it won't"

Bonnie Raitt's I Can't Make You Love Me keeps playing in my head -- sad and painful. I prefer her version to George Michael's as I find hers raw and depressing. And some chick in Rockstar INXS sang it quite beautifully too. Beautifully sad. See the lyrics if you have the time or interest.

Anyway.

At dinner last night, I got 'molested' by the shop owner. How does a handshake equal to a ticket for you squeezing my arm like you've known me for ages and we're buddies? It doesn't mean that your tandoori chicken is good you get to do that and look at me like that. Seriously.

MBF decided to come get me and catch up before she goes off for her extended Langkawi weekend trip. We went to Alexis, sat next to each other and talked about everything and nothing.

In the midst of our prattle, some people came to do a sound check, or whatever you musicians call it nowadays. Actually they sounded quite good. Perhaps you might want to check it out, I think they're called Tuxedo and the singer is Sufiah, who is one of the finalists of the first Malaysian Idol. Check it out here: http://alexis.com.my/html/content.php?id=27 The pianist is quite cute if I may add.

Have a happy Friday and gorgeous weekend ahead.

i am restless

It’s April already? Happy April people.. 2007 seems to fly by. But I have been saying that every year for the past 3 years..

Creepily, April also makes me visualise my physician’s face. The vertically-challenged crazy one, who said I was doomed save for medication. Lately he has been causing me nightmares. Honest.

I was too busy (and too crackbrained) to remember that 2 April 2007 was an important date.

I was to go for a check-up yesterday but did not turn up as:
(1) I still miraculously have some medication left despite taking a 4 month supply i.e. up to end of March 2007;
(2) *lightbulb* Yikes! Issue (1) actually means that I have not been taking the meds religiously, which brings us to the next issues;
(3) I have not followed his advice to quit or cut down my smoking to at most 3 a day -- number taken from his cue that anything more than 3 cigs is heavy;
(4) I haven’t been following the advised healthy diet plan to a tee.

Naturally, I’m panicking. But I’m telling myself that I’m fine because I feel fine. I’m fine right? I am. I’m fine. Okay. I’m fine. Yes. I am fine.

But. There was That Thing that occurred in February that I should disclose to him. God knows WHAT he’s going to say is wrong with me.

Funny I’m restless over a scheduled I-want-to-see-your-progress check-up.

NOT funny haha. Obviously.